The Journey to Joy - How To Feel Joy Again When it Feels Lost

Gray. A never-ending sea of gray.

Up until a month ago, gray was all I could see. I felt like I had lost my spark, my feeling of belonging, and the unique and wonderful things that made me feel like me. I was lost in the sea of gray.

I didn't want to fly. I didn't want to train. I didn't want to cook. I didn't want to create or design. I just existed.

I look back now and I realize I was expecting to be happy. Relying on my happiness as a responsive feeling towards things like work performance, or how I performed in a workout, or even how well-rested I felt when I woke up in the morning.

But that feeling of happiness is fleeting. A blip of color in the world of gray. A Band-Aid that you have to keep replacing. I didn't want that anymore and I wasn't sure how I had even let myself get this far.

I started to seek a world full of color again.

Happiness is when you get an A on your exam. Happiness is when you have the winning lotto ticket. In the things that you do in a day, do you feel like they are a part of something bigger? That's where the value and the joy comes from.- Simon Sinek

Reno, NV

1. Ownership

The first step I took to feel joy was taking ownership of my actions. I stop letting myself feel like a victim to circumstance.

If the only actions I took each day were to provide for a temporary source of happiness, I would never feel joy.

I also owned the fact that I don't have patience. Patience would be something I would have to nurture in order to feel joy.

I accepted the hard truth. I had to make an intentional effort to do something I felt actually mattered each day, instead of waiting on the world to make me happy.

2. Inspiration

The second step I took to feel joy was finding inspiration.

For me, inspiration is when you see something, or do something that brings you a full feeling. A feeling of peace, motivation, and contentment. It will be different for everyone, and maybe differ in the stages of your life, because what inspires me now, is way different than a few years ago.

For example, I'm a color and texture person. I designed my home office (with Ryan's help) to cultivate inspiration. My walls are an olive/sage green with a beautiful rough white shiplap accent and my furniture is a creamy distressed white, with bronze accents.

When I am feeling empty or low on inspiration, I come and sit on my couch in my office. The warm colors and textures fill me with that sense of peace, motivation, and contentment. I feel closer to joy whenever I step foot into this space.

When I was feeling my darkest and lowest. I hadn't spent intentional time in my office for weeks... coincidence? I think not.

Maybe inspiration for you is spending intentional time with your dog. Or spending time journaling. Spending time listening to your favorite audiobook. Crafting. Cooking. It could be anything!

I believe the key to inspiration is intentional time. Something out of your normal routine of the day, focusing on something that matters to you.

3. Perseverance

The third step is possibly the most important. Perseverance.

I'll give you the actual definition of the word... I keep doing this because I think we use words so frivolously now and forget the power and meaning behind them.

Perseverance. noun. "persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success."

So basically... you have to fake it til you make it. Honestly.

Personally, I kept hoping the feeling of fleeting happiness will stay, even though I know it won't. But now, I show up everyday, and do the things that matter, knowing I will feel joy and fulfillment; if not today, then tomorrow.

Feeling joy again is an uphill battle. Maybe you suffered a huge life change, feeling the consequences of fatigue, or maybe you are just stuck in a rut. I've been there. It hurts. It sucks. But you aren't alone, and there are ways to find the color in the world again, it may just look a little different and you might have to try a little harder.

But trust me, it's a tragedy to simply exist, when you can live.

And as always,